Confessions of a Perfectionist

Well, I can’t hide the fact that it has been over a month since I posted something because all my posts are date stamped. What I’m going to do instead is talk about some of the barriers I have faced in the last month that have prevented me from writing. This way I can at least post SOMETHING, and maybe it will break the ice, and I’ll feel more comfortable posting more things. I’m a perfectionist. I like to put my BEST foot forward. If a job isn’t done perfectly, why do it at all? Right? Wrong. Extreme perfectionism, and I mean to the point where your standards are higher than they realistically should be, will lead to procrastination. This thought confused me, too, the first time I heard it. How come the desire to do something correctly and to the best of your ability causes you to push it to the side? Well, it’s hard to do things to the BEST of your abilities. And it’s hard to convince yourself to start a task that is going to be difficult to complete. So I get stuck in this vicious circle where I want to write, I love writing, but why would I post something mediocre for the world to see? I’m a new blogger, so everything I publish is important, right? If I want more views, I need to post epic content, market myself, and get readers to come back. So instead of just writing what’s on my mind and being happy, I stare at my computer, trying to come up with something epic, and then write nothing at all. Yep, it’s stressful.

Not only do I need the content to be epic, but what about the photo? We’re so visual these days with Instagram and Pinterest, and the apparent decline in people’s willingness to actually read something. Every post needs at least an attractive cover photo to drive interest. So then there’s the added stress of needing a photo that is not only professional looking, but well edited and themed to match the post. Another thing to worry about.

What topic should I be choosing? Does this topic fit with my niche? Do I even have a niche? I don’t want to be posting all over the place, because my readers might get confused, or think my blog is about 1 thing, and then they look around, and think it’s about something else. Everyone needs to have a niche, so before I post something, I need to think about my niche. Who is my target audience and what do they want? Hmm.. Well, I don’t even know what I want half the time so how am I supposed to know what thousands of other people might want?

I have this unrealistic view that if I write the right post, that readers will somehow flood onto my blog and be captivated by my writing and will want to come back every day for more. This is every writer’s dream, but it is most definitely not a reality. So, does it really matter what I post? Who sees it? It’s a complicated life. This is how I am with everything! If I can’t do it to perfection, I’m not interested in doing it at all. This is why I have quit so many projects and activities, because I just wasn’t as good as I wanted to be and practicing would take way too long, so quitting or procrastinating was just easier. This stops today! Today, I chill the heck out! Today, I lower my expectation, I care less about what other people think, I write what’s on my mind!

I hope this post helped you understand why I have been absent for so long and if you too suffer from the same problems, I hope this helps you chill the heck out too! Life is too short to be on edge all the time.

Peace out! (Yeah, I’m not cool enough to pull that off…).

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